Saturday, July 4, 2009
So my life is feeling kinda boring lately. I hang out at home and go to school and go to play practice. And it isn't too bad until nights like this, when the moon is almost full and I have had way more sugar than I ought to today and not enough moving around. I am almost crushing on a guy my friends see as a total creeper-- and I know why they think that but I can't help basking in the minor attention he pays me. Which is dumb because the last guy I allowed this close (other than the guy I was dating at the time) turned out to have a Peter Pan complex-- he will never grow up, not emotionally anyway. And I was more like Wendy, paying attention and laughing at his jokes and waiting paitently while he flirted with the mermaids. And when I stayed away for a few days, he forgot me. So I am a fool and I don't trust my own judgement and the only guys I dated turned out to be too wrapped up in themselves to notice God and His plans. Come to think of it, the only time I don't feel useless this summer is when I am serving-- helping a mom make a little kid's party run smoother, fetching and carrying for the costume director, moving props around on stage so they are ready to go on... And I don't worry about boys when I am focused on others... aha! the key! Love God, love people... now how can I do that?